So, I've been a stay at home mom for 16 years now. I take in little sewing jobs and decorate the occasional birthday cake to help out my friends. But I haven't had a "9 to 5" job in over 16 years. Years ago my guys heard the announcer on the radio say something about a stay-at-home mom and he asked me what that meant.
" A stay at home mom doesn't go out to do her job. She gets to stay at home to do her job of taking care of the house and her kids."
"Oh" came the small voice from the booster seat behind me in the car. "You're not a stay at home mom."
Puzzled I asked, "Why do you think that buddy?"
"You don't stay at home. You shop!" We were on our way to Walmart for groceries and such after all.
I did set the record straight and we did have a chuckle that night as I told Mike my "non-stay -at -home" status.
Now that my guys are older and much more independent, I occassionally work behind the desk at our karate studio. I answer phones, handle payments, greet students, and pretty much just sit behind the desk to make sure things run smoothly.
It is not a hard job. I really love doing it. It does change the schedule at home quite a bit! while I am still at home to help my guys with school work in the mornings. I leave to work the desk around 3:00. I run a couple errands and get to work at 4:00 to have things ready for the first class at 4:30. I spend the evening at ATA and get home around 9:00.
I don't get to greet Mike when he gets home from work and while the crockpot and instant pot come in handy, the guys are on their own for dinner. That big of a change in the schedule makes us all tired and ready for normal by the end of the week. A week being the longest stretch I've been needed.
So how do you handle a major change in your schedule? Can you plan ahead for the entire week or handle it a day at a time? I am a mix of the two. Meals were planned each morning for the evening. Rides to activities were worked out a week in advance, but there is always some wiggle room in all plans.
Next time your schedule needs to be restructured, I hope everything works out as planned with a little fun thrown in on the side.
Friday, October 19, 2018
Monday, October 15, 2018
New Car
In 2009, we needed more room in our vehicle. If we were going anywhere and taking friends with us, we didn't have any room. The friend would have had to ride on the roof or in the storage area of our CR-V. So after much searching, we found a 2005 Honda Pilot with a cassette player. The cassette player was absolutely necessary because the boys' traveling music was only on cassettes and was required for the long trips to visit family.
Matt was in Pre-School and MikeG was a first grader when the "new to us" Pilot joined the family. Flash forward almost 10 years, our wonderful Pilot had traveled 240,219 miles. The oil leaked a little. We had to top off the power steering fluid once a month or so. Transmission fluid was also disappearing from where it belonged. It was time for the old girl to retire.
So the search began again. We knew the size we needed - that third row seat is important. A minivan was NOT an option. Newer technology was a big plus. We narrowed down the field to another Pilot and a Toyota Highlander. Let the test drives begin.
After the first round, I liked the Pilot and my wonderful husband was leaning towards the Highlander. The test drives for the two cars had been a about a week or so apart, so we decided to check them both out again on the same day - head to head so to speak.
Each car had pluses and minuses. Pros and cons. Good colors, bad colors, different bells and whistles. Different levels of technology. Decisions, decisions, decisions!!
When all was said and done - the Highlander eked out the Pilot. Either car would have been wonderful, but for us the Highlander was a better fit. So after "the talk" with the dealer, and a day scheduled to pick up the car (we needed to have a towing package installed, which would take a couple days), the emptying of the Pilot had to take place. Over nine years of stuff had accumulated in the pockets and crevices of the seats, cup holders and storage areas. We filled one trash bag with junk and two baskets with junk that wasn't to be thrown away. There was another small basket of stuff that would find a place to live in the new car eventually. Almost like cleaning out a house for moving, but on a smaller scale.
After two days of driving the Highlander, I feel spoiled. The new car smell, the clean seats and scuff free dashboard - lovely! I wonder how long it will last?
Matt was in Pre-School and MikeG was a first grader when the "new to us" Pilot joined the family. Flash forward almost 10 years, our wonderful Pilot had traveled 240,219 miles. The oil leaked a little. We had to top off the power steering fluid once a month or so. Transmission fluid was also disappearing from where it belonged. It was time for the old girl to retire.
So the search began again. We knew the size we needed - that third row seat is important. A minivan was NOT an option. Newer technology was a big plus. We narrowed down the field to another Pilot and a Toyota Highlander. Let the test drives begin.
After the first round, I liked the Pilot and my wonderful husband was leaning towards the Highlander. The test drives for the two cars had been a about a week or so apart, so we decided to check them both out again on the same day - head to head so to speak.
Each car had pluses and minuses. Pros and cons. Good colors, bad colors, different bells and whistles. Different levels of technology. Decisions, decisions, decisions!!
When all was said and done - the Highlander eked out the Pilot. Either car would have been wonderful, but for us the Highlander was a better fit. So after "the talk" with the dealer, and a day scheduled to pick up the car (we needed to have a towing package installed, which would take a couple days), the emptying of the Pilot had to take place. Over nine years of stuff had accumulated in the pockets and crevices of the seats, cup holders and storage areas. We filled one trash bag with junk and two baskets with junk that wasn't to be thrown away. There was another small basket of stuff that would find a place to live in the new car eventually. Almost like cleaning out a house for moving, but on a smaller scale.
After two days of driving the Highlander, I feel spoiled. The new car smell, the clean seats and scuff free dashboard - lovely! I wonder how long it will last?
Friday, October 12, 2018
Life
Amazing how fast time flies by while we are busy with the routine of life.
My oldest child is rapidly becoming a man. Pants bought in the spring are now too short. The sweatshirt that was baggy in the early fall is now getting a little snug. And what is that fuzzy stuff creeping across his upper lip?
My youngest child is no longer in the single digit age bracket. Far past it. Handy Manny and Blue (with her clues) have madeway to MineCraft and difficult Lego sets. And when did he start asking questions about politics that I can't answer?
It seems like yesterday we signed up for beginner t-ball. Littlest guy in the unbrella stroller and big brother playing in dust on the field. No matter where the ball was hit the whole team ran after it. Blink and we are watching from our folding chairs as they play first and third bases for their respective teams, knowing when to hold the base and when to go after the ball. Forget about the tee. The kids pitch for themselves now.
Way back in the day, date nights were planned at least a month (if not two) in advance. A babysitter would be called or grandparents would collect the boys, reservations would be made. Instructions for care would be left and phone numbers were stuck to the fridge.
Today, date nights are still planned, but without the extra fanfare and stress. Grandparents still collect the boys on the rare occasion, but for an in town dinner date, the boys stay at home armed with a pizza and movie. They are usually showered and deep into the plot when we get home.
With school schedules, karate, baseball, church activities, chores and housework it is easy to miss the milestones that guide us. That first lost tooth, and the second and the third. The first day of school, the first day your drop them off (not walking them inside), the first time riding the bus. That day at IdleWild when they don't want you to ride with them anymore quickly becomes trips to Kennywood and "We will meet you at The Racer!"
Now I hand the car keys to the boy who used to ride his little truck through the kitchen so he can get some driving practice in on the real car. And the boy who used to drool so much he doubled my laundry, is starting the washer and dryer on his own.
Yes, there are times I would like to hit the pause button so I can enjoy certain moments a little longer, but the stop button is out of the question. My job as mom is to raise them to be independant, gentlemen who can take care of themselves (and, hopefully, their own families). I am enjoying watching them become more independant and wanting to learn how to do different things on their own. I like being teased about boys catching up to me in height (I'd be worried if they didn't). I am glad I'm not dealing with diapers, strollers, carriers, and hauling their stuff. They carry their own stuff now and more times than not, carry mine too.
I will enjoy these next few years before they leave for college, watching them grow, mature, and make friends that will last a lifetime. I get to be a part of that. I will encourage them to enjoy the time with extended family - grandparents, aunts, cousins. I have special memories with mine and I don't want them to miss out on what it means to be part of a group that will love you forever in spite of mistakes and disagreements.
Yes, we are busy living, but we are not missing the good parts.
Take a moment and enjoy your life.
My oldest child is rapidly becoming a man. Pants bought in the spring are now too short. The sweatshirt that was baggy in the early fall is now getting a little snug. And what is that fuzzy stuff creeping across his upper lip?
My youngest child is no longer in the single digit age bracket. Far past it. Handy Manny and Blue (with her clues) have madeway to MineCraft and difficult Lego sets. And when did he start asking questions about politics that I can't answer?
It seems like yesterday we signed up for beginner t-ball. Littlest guy in the unbrella stroller and big brother playing in dust on the field. No matter where the ball was hit the whole team ran after it. Blink and we are watching from our folding chairs as they play first and third bases for their respective teams, knowing when to hold the base and when to go after the ball. Forget about the tee. The kids pitch for themselves now.
Way back in the day, date nights were planned at least a month (if not two) in advance. A babysitter would be called or grandparents would collect the boys, reservations would be made. Instructions for care would be left and phone numbers were stuck to the fridge.
Today, date nights are still planned, but without the extra fanfare and stress. Grandparents still collect the boys on the rare occasion, but for an in town dinner date, the boys stay at home armed with a pizza and movie. They are usually showered and deep into the plot when we get home.
With school schedules, karate, baseball, church activities, chores and housework it is easy to miss the milestones that guide us. That first lost tooth, and the second and the third. The first day of school, the first day your drop them off (not walking them inside), the first time riding the bus. That day at IdleWild when they don't want you to ride with them anymore quickly becomes trips to Kennywood and "We will meet you at The Racer!"
Now I hand the car keys to the boy who used to ride his little truck through the kitchen so he can get some driving practice in on the real car. And the boy who used to drool so much he doubled my laundry, is starting the washer and dryer on his own.
Yes, there are times I would like to hit the pause button so I can enjoy certain moments a little longer, but the stop button is out of the question. My job as mom is to raise them to be independant, gentlemen who can take care of themselves (and, hopefully, their own families). I am enjoying watching them become more independant and wanting to learn how to do different things on their own. I like being teased about boys catching up to me in height (I'd be worried if they didn't). I am glad I'm not dealing with diapers, strollers, carriers, and hauling their stuff. They carry their own stuff now and more times than not, carry mine too.
I will enjoy these next few years before they leave for college, watching them grow, mature, and make friends that will last a lifetime. I get to be a part of that. I will encourage them to enjoy the time with extended family - grandparents, aunts, cousins. I have special memories with mine and I don't want them to miss out on what it means to be part of a group that will love you forever in spite of mistakes and disagreements.
Yes, we are busy living, but we are not missing the good parts.
Take a moment and enjoy your life.
Thursday, October 11, 2018
Rainy Days
We have had so many lately. These rainy days that don't necessarily cool the temperatures down or take away any humidity have really added up this year. The ground is soaked. Activities have been rescheduled and some even cancelled.
The sky is cloudy and the sun can't seem to get up to full power, yet still it is warm outside.
I am ready for some chilly fall weather. You know the kind I mean. A fire in the fireplace, a mug of hot tea or cocoa, a cozy sweatshirt or fluffy sweater, good book kind of weather. I'm beyond ready to look outside and see some sun shine. I'm anxiously waiting for the leaves to put on their autumn colors and float gently to the ground to decorate the grass and pathways.
Hold off on the Christmas decorations until Thanksgiving is done and we have had a chance to revel in the buildup to the holidays that is autumn.
Rain, rain, go away. Come again in the spring to awake the earth for the growing season. Right now, I want to get out and dwell in the gorgeousness of fall. So rain go away. Let autumn arrive.
The sky is cloudy and the sun can't seem to get up to full power, yet still it is warm outside.
I am ready for some chilly fall weather. You know the kind I mean. A fire in the fireplace, a mug of hot tea or cocoa, a cozy sweatshirt or fluffy sweater, good book kind of weather. I'm beyond ready to look outside and see some sun shine. I'm anxiously waiting for the leaves to put on their autumn colors and float gently to the ground to decorate the grass and pathways.
Hold off on the Christmas decorations until Thanksgiving is done and we have had a chance to revel in the buildup to the holidays that is autumn.
Rain, rain, go away. Come again in the spring to awake the earth for the growing season. Right now, I want to get out and dwell in the gorgeousness of fall. So rain go away. Let autumn arrive.
Re-boot
Today in my world, things were hard. Things that normally I don't even think about getting done, took energy to even think about. I didn't make it to the gym (again), that one load of laundry never got folded, and our simple dinner of chicken and rice almost didn't happen because I had to really look for the desire to cook it.
My wonderful guys are very independant with their school work. I did help them review for a quiz and proof-read some papers. Other than that, I don't feel like my day was a success. My Fitbit showed less than 5000 steps for the day. To be totally honest, I'm not sure how I spent my time today. As I was getting ready for bed I realized part of the problem - I didn't care. I had a crappy day and it didn't bother me nearly as much as it should have.
Now, don't start panicking. I will get out of bed in the morning and make sure everyone eats breakfast and is cared for. I will find a way out of this "funk" I have fallen into. It has happened before and I made my way out. I will do that again this time.
What I would like to know is: how did I get here in the first place? I don't like it here. It affects my family. If it goes on too long, it will affect my friends and my activities. What caused this slide? Do I need to think about things more? Do I need to be in my head less? More activities? Less activities? Better eating habits? (Always) More exercise? (Yep)
There are people counting on me so I will get through this.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)