How much is enough?

“Why didn’t you send a Thank You card?!?”

“Because I opened the gift in front of you. Said ‘Thank you’ three times at that moment; said ‘Thank you for everything’ twice as we left.  I didn’t think another ‘Thank You’ was necessary.”

How many times should we say “Thank you” for a gift? When is it enough? The same can be asked of an apology.  I can say “I am sorry” when I know I am wrong and again later when emotions have calmed and a small bit of time has passed.  I have heard an apology four times for the same slight.  Once was enough for me because I knew it was sincere.  Same goes for appreciation.  If it is sincere, once is enough.

I believe in following etiquette. Thank you notes, using the correct silverware when the occasion called for multiple forks and such. Manners should not be lacking. “Excuse me” and “Please” are words that should not be lost. Holding doors for those behind you, giving up a seat on crowded public transportation should not be forgotten gestures.

I do not want to be rude in my speach or my actions. But I do not want to do these things unnecessarily either.  I do not need to stand if there are ten empty seats on a bus or hold a door open for ten minutes.  I don’t need to open and close a door five time for the same person to go through either.

So I’ll ask again, when it comes to apologies and appreciation, how much is enough?