College- Already?!?

It seems like yesterday I brought my first born home from the hospital, but really it was over 17 years ago.  Now he is a senior in high school, waiting on news if he has been accepted into his college of choice.  (We will find out December 15.)

I feel in some ways I am just hitting my stride as a mom.  My guys are at a great independent stage. They can talk rationally and logically about an assortment of topics. The games we play now involve more that cars, trucks , and sound effects! They only require a spot check before leaving the house to make sure the shirt matches the shorts/pants and socks are the right color. They are even doing their own laundry on occasion.

The path of parenthood is longer behind me than in front of me.  My oldest heads to college next year.  My time left to influence him while at home is nearing the finish line.  His younger brother is finally realizing what this college thing will mean for him.  There goes his buddy! And three years after his brother, he will leave the nest for his own college experience.

I am not sure I am ready for this stage of life - emptying the nest.  There is so much comfort and security with all my chicks within my walls.  Knowing where they are and what they are doing.  Knowing if they need something, I can swoop in and help them out.

On the other hand, I wouldn’t want them to miss out on the life I have now.  If they don’t leave the nest, they will not get to experience kids of their own. The joy of having a place to call your own.  Going out on your own adventures and figuring out exactly what you want out of life. I want that for them, so they must fly.

As their parents, we will always cheer them on. We will always help when we should and can. We will hopefully know when to let them handle stuff on their own. We will watch them stumble and succeed.

And when they come home for a visit, we will play games and maybe even break out the legos that I will never throw away.

Do I deserve this?

”I don’t deserve this!”

Usually when this statement is uttered, it is from a star on the big (or small) screen, who has just been dealt a bad hand.  The love of their life has left them. They lost a job. A nasty rumor had foiled a plan they were counting on.

Or maybe it was uttered by a dramatic teen when they didn’t get their way with their parents or they didn’t get invited to “that” party.

But have you ever looked at the opposite side of the “I don’t deserve that” coin.  I have two wonderful boys, a  thoughtful husband who loves me without fail, and an extended family who is supportive and caring. I have a circle of friends I can call on at anytime for just about anything.  I believe God created me, loves me, and saved me.  I have a really good life.

I am not perfect.  I am overweight, a little lazy, slightly addicted to my iPhone and other gadgets, and I am a little self centered.

When I take an honest look at my life - the good, the bad and the ugly- I know truly, I don’t deserve this.  I am not depressed. I am not feeling down in the dumps.  I am feeling blessed beyond measure.  When I look at my boys and how much they have grown, the young men they have become - I am amazed. When I think that I have been joyously married to the man I love for 21 years, I am in wonder. When I think of my church family and all my friends, I am humbled.

For all my mistakes and short comings, my failures and thoughtlessness, my life is incredible.
I don’t deserve it.  I am thankful for all of it.

Rain

It had been a couple of incredibly busy weeks.  For the first time in my life, I was director of our church’s Vacation Bible School.  The week before was hectic with last minute decorating and finalizing those last minute details. The week of VBS was full of early mornings, go go go, and figuring out the forgotten house work of the previous week.

The week after VBS began with Chick-Fil-A deliveries and working the ATA desk.  With only a hour or so between jobs (both of which I truly enjoy), I leaned heavily on my guys for laundry, dinner, and other housework.  The end of the week finished in a three day trip to Virginia and back for my wonderful husband’s company picnic at King’s Dominion amusement park. Six plus hours in the car. Twelve plus hours walking through the park on day 2. Day three was another 6+ hours in the car on the return home.  I’m so glad we did it, but I did pay a price.

On Sunday, I couldn’t sit down without pain shooting through my hip and calf.  Standing wasn’t easy either.  I only found comfort laying down on my side until past noon.  Finally I was able to move around once my muscle relaxed a little.  This morning, the stiffness set back in but passed much quicker.

This evening I am feeling overwhelmed.  Calf and hip are achy. Boys are prepping to leave for a youth group trip. I have deliveries in the mornings and appointments in the afternoons. Then it started to rain.

I’m not talking about a summer sprinkle.  The down pour started and lasted for at least an hour.  I listened as the rain hit the roof and ran down the gutters.  Needing a little fresh air, I stepped out onto our covered deck to hear the rain more clearly.

It was dark. The light from the house making the yard appear even darker. I could just make out the outline of the trees that surround our house. The rain continued to pour down. Then I saw them.  In the midst of the rain and the darkness, or maybe because of them, I spotted the lightening bugs. Fireflies among the leaves, protected from the rain, still blinking and signaling to each other.  If it hadn’t been raining and dark, I wouldn’t have been as surprised to see them.  But because it was dark, the blinking lights stood out. Because of the the pouring rain, the intermittent sparks were unexpected.  Bright spots in a gloomy evening.

Those lightening bugs reminded me that even in the darkest and maybe because of the darkest times, there are moments we can grab on to that bring sparks of joy that during ordinary times we may overlook.

During these past hectic weeks, I grabbed my bright spots.  The week of VBS, a very thoughtful friend gave me a small encouragement gift each day.  The same week as VBS was our 21st wedding anniversary.  My fabulous husband brought home beautiful red roses.  My oldest turned 17 this weekend and as a family we celebrated with an escape room (we made it out with 10 minutes to spare!).  The way we pull together and support each other as a family is one of  the brightest spots I can always cling to when nothing else seems to be going right.

My pace is easing back to “normal”.  I have climbed and conquered the pile of laundry and dinner is being planned ahead of time once more. While my ducks may never be in a row, I’ve at least got them all on the same pond.  When life gets frantic again, and I know it will, I’ll remember my bright spots and look for the new ones, hiding safely amongst the leaves in the dark rain.

Boy do I miss that!

There are so many things we take for granted each and every day.  I don’t even think about the lights coming on with a flick of the switch. Hot water for my tea is available 2 minutes after I hit the go button on my tea kettle, and stays hot for an hour.  Ready when I am.  I never sat and wondered about my living room being warm in the winter and cool in the summer because of the dependable furnace and air conditioner.I don’t think about these things because they just happen.  It just is!

Yesterday was a very blustery day.  The sun was shinning for the first time in several days, but the wind was ferocious.  It didn’t just blow for an hour or two, it howled mightily all day and in to the night. The trees rocked back and forth, dropping weak limbs and branches. In some areas, the trees were not up to the challenge and fell over entirely.  Branches played tag with nearby power lines causing our electricity to flicker off and on several time during the afternoon and evening.

As we all settled into our beds, the lights flickered again. At 10:30 pm, they were done. The wind cheered in triumph! It had finally defeated our small neighborhood of three houses. The celebration continued into the night and was still raging this morning.  Our power was still out.

The heat had not run all night and the bedroom was 56*F.  The bathroom did not light up at the flick of a switch.  The hot water only lasted a few short minutes. Hot water for my usual morning tea was not even an option.  The living room temperature was 54*F! The boys could not do their online schooling because with out power, the WiFi was down.  It was time to find a warm place with electricity and WiFi.

Picking out clothes with a flashlight is not as fun as it may sound, but I think my outfit matched for the most part.  At least I think my socks were brown.  The boys and I headed to Chick-Fil-A due to their abundance of heat, WiFi, and sweet tea.  We arrived there about 8:30 and settled in with a power strip connected to the one outlet available to keep the laptops humming along for the boys’ online schooling.

We got word from a neighbor around noon that the power was back on! So after thanking our friends at Chick-Fil-A for putting us up for the morning, we packed up and went home.  Once there, I started a fire in the fire place to help the furnace bring things up to warm from almost cold.  As the guy settled in to finish school, they realized that the WiFi had not been restored yet. School was put on hold until internet capability returned about two hours later.

I so enjoyed lights brightening a room at the flick on a switch. I was giddy with the prospect of hot water boiling in the electric kettle in two minutes for my hot tea. While the furnace hummed along warming the house, I started a load of laundry, so appreciative of my machine and dryer that allowed me to clean the clothes so easily. After a day with out power, I was taking nothing for granted!

But now, as I sit here and type this on my fully charged gadget, I realize I have lost the appreciation for technology pretty quickly.  Things are doing what they are supposed to be doing and I don’t have to think about it or plan around it not working.  My day is progressing as it should.  No hiccups or surprises.

How often do we treat those around us this way?  When everyone is doing their job like they should we don’t even realize how easy they make our lives. But what happens when someone we depend on, is suddenly no longer there? Maybe they are sick or have moved or simply taken a day off.  You appreciate them for a day when they get back but then things fall back in the rut of “normal”. So take a moment today and let those who you depend on - your kids, your spouse, your parents, a co-worker - and let them know you are thankful they do their job so well, even if their job is just loving you.

Hello. I’m really here.

“No man is an island.” - John Donne

I agree with this statement.  If I am wrong, someone please correct me, I think everyone wants to be seen on some level.  Different people need different levels of attention.  Introverts need much less than their extroverted counterparts. I am sure there are introverts out there who would be happy to go days with out talking to another person. But at some point, even the shyest of introverts needs to be acknowledged, spoken to, confirmed, by a peer.

God calls His people to fellowship with each other, to care for those around them. I believe this was not only to show His love for those in need but also for those doing the caring.  It is good for us to not be so consumed by our own lives that we cannot see where others are reaching out.

Even the homeless form communities. It may not be a friendly place but at least they may get a nod of acknowledgement from someone in the same boat they are in.  Someone else confirming they are alive and they exist. My heart breaks for those who beg on the street corners, but each clink of a coin in the bottom of their cup, each eye to eye contact is a way of saying “I see you.  You are here.”

Most of us receive that confirmation everyday. From the moment we are born our parents, family, friends, teachers, etc., show us love and guidance.  Beginning around high school, we strive to standout.  We want confirmation that we are special, different, loved for who we are.  We want to be seen, acknowledged, confirmed, no matter how different, needy, confident, we may be.  Let us know you see us.  We exist in your world, even if it is on the edges.

I have to say I have been struggling with this lately.  I have no doubt I am loved.  My husband spoils me.  God has blessed my life with two wonderful sons.  I have friends I can count on.  But there have been times lately that I have been ignored, forgotten, and taken for granted.  I saw a post on Facebook that said, “I’m sorry the middle of my sentence interrupted the beginning of yours!” I have repeated this in my thoughts many times.  At one point I just quit talking and no one even noticed.  Ouch! Chores I have asked to be completed take two days because “Sorry Mom, I forgot.” Or “I didn’t hear you ask.” even though they respond “Okay” when they were first asked.  Having to ask two or three times, makes me feel like I don’t matter or the task is not important enough until that third request.
Like I said, I know I am loved, and these things come in waves.  Next week could be wonderful. Fingers crossed!

I have also experienced this feeling of non-importance outside the house.  Recently, I have come to the conclusion that I don’t matter to someone I had considered a friend.  I thought I meant something to this person, but after months of not being greeted and feeling like I am forcing unwanted conversations, I am done.  I will continue to say hello and I will always be nice and polite, but I will not seek them out for advice, I will not start conversations.  I will not bother them any longer.  I will grieve the lost friendship and if they ever want to start one up again, I will be there. But it will be up to them. This hurts.  I am not acknowledged in their world, and our worlds intersect a lot.

This experience has made me more aware.  I make more of an effort now to make time for my close friends.  I connect with those around me a little more often with at least a text or maybe even a phone call just to hear their voice.  I am trying to listen better when people talk to me so I can follow up on a care or concern when I see them again.  In church, if I see a friend sitting alone, I greet them with eye contact, a wave, and a quick “Good Morning” if I don’t have time to actually go over and chat for a minute or two.  This spring and summer as my family walks through the streets of Pittsburgh as wwe head for a Pirates game, I will have my pockets filled with snack items to hand to those who have fallen on hard times.  They may be homeless, but I will acknowledge them because I know how it feels to be ignored.

What is “Normal?”

After the holidays, as people put away their Christmas decorations, I heard several friends and family remark, “It’s so nice to get back to our regular routine. You know, to get back to normal.”

While I do understand the regular routine of getting back to school and activities after a long Christmas break, what is normal? For some it might be an activity every night of the week and three on the weekends. For others it might be, nothing in the evenings during the week,  but gone from home for trips every weekend.  For still others it may mean, working nights and taking care of your kids during the day.

Why do we all want “normal” so much? Why do we want to be just like everyone else, but better at it?  Why can we define what is normal for us and be happy with that with out comparing it to everyone else?

In our house, it is normal to attend karate classes two or three times a week.  We attend church to praise God on Sundays. My boys go to youth group on Thursdays.  They hang out with their friends, and do schoolwork.  We play cards or board games sometimes in the evenings and can often be found reading books.  In the summer, we enjoy riding bikes, boating, and I love geocaching.  That is our normal and we are happy with it.

What would it take for you to be happy and content with your definition of normal?

What’s in a name?

I have been called many names, some good, some not so good.  In karate class, whether or not I am teaching or taking the class, I am referred to as “Ma’am” or “Mrs. B”.  My husband will occasionally use terms of endearment - “Honey”, “Dear”.  My two sons call me “Mom”.  By the majority of people- friends, family, peers, call me “Becky”.

I have been married for over 20 years.  I haven’t been a “Miss” for a long time.  I do realize it is a common thing (especially in the South) for kids to call friends of their parents “Miss ____ “ what ever the person’s first name might be regardless of that woman’s marital status.  I’m not a fan of that unless the adult has said to call her by that title.  Plus, I don’t live in the South. To me, this ignores part of who I am.  I am not “Miss Becky” anymore.  I love being introduced as “Mrs. Buriok” to new acquaintances.  Within a few minutes I will ask them to call me “Becky”, but right out of the gate they understand I am married and happily so. I feel that when someone calls me “Miss Becky”, they are putting themselves in a subservient roll to me.  I do not like being placed in that position.

While my given name is Rebecca, I haven’t been called that in many years.  It was the name used by my parents when I was in big trouble.  You all know what I mean.  When you have done something so wrong the full name must be used to emphasize the severity of your actions and how bad the punishment is going to be. Last week, someone who has only known me for a couple of years wrote me a check for some work I had done for her.  She made the check out to “Rebecca”.  I do realize that in business full names are used for contracts and such.  But this person has never heard me called Rebecca.  It just seemed odd to me.  This same person sent me a text and called me “Miss Becky”.  If you are my peer and we are friends, I’m “Becky”.  If you are a friend of my sons, “Mrs. Buriok” will do unless I have asked you to call me “Becky”.

On this note, how do you correct someone with out coming across as snippy or mean? I easily correct someone the first time I am called the wrong title. But in a text it gets awkward. It is even more awkward if the person continues to ignore your request and uses “Miss Becky” all the time.

So the name you are called, in part, helps define and identify you.  What’s you name?

How much is enough?

“Why didn’t you send a Thank You card?!?”

“Because I opened the gift in front of you. Said ‘Thank you’ three times at that moment; said ‘Thank you for everything’ twice as we left.  I didn’t think another ‘Thank You’ was necessary.”

How many times should we say “Thank you” for a gift? When is it enough? The same can be asked of an apology.  I can say “I am sorry” when I know I am wrong and again later when emotions have calmed and a small bit of time has passed.  I have heard an apology four times for the same slight.  Once was enough for me because I knew it was sincere.  Same goes for appreciation.  If it is sincere, once is enough.

I believe in following etiquette. Thank you notes, using the correct silverware when the occasion called for multiple forks and such. Manners should not be lacking. “Excuse me” and “Please” are words that should not be lost. Holding doors for those behind you, giving up a seat on crowded public transportation should not be forgotten gestures.

I do not want to be rude in my speach or my actions. But I do not want to do these things unnecessarily either.  I do not need to stand if there are ten empty seats on a bus or hold a door open for ten minutes.  I don’t need to open and close a door five time for the same person to go through either.

So I’ll ask again, when it comes to apologies and appreciation, how much is enough?

Friendship

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I could be a better friend.  I need to reach out more and not wait for others to reach out to me.  I need to think of what is going on in my friend’s life before I blurt out what is happening with me.  I need to remember the world, even my world, does not revolve around me.

Now that I know what to do, maybe I should define “friend”.  What is a friend?  Merriam-Webster defines a friend as “one attached to another by affection or esteem”. There are other definitions but this is the one I would like to focus on.

Think about those around you.  Are you friends with them because you like hanging out with them? Do they make you feel good, encourage you, support you in the low times?  Are they there for you even if some time has passed? If so, I would consider this person a true friend.

On the other hand, are you friends with this person simply because of what they do for you? Do you only reach out to them when you need assistance or need to delegate a responsibility? Do you only touch base with them to let them know you have completed the task they asked you to do?  Do you trust this person with your emotional state or only surface level “How are you doing?” If this describes your relationship, I would consider this person an associate or co-worker. A friend in the sense that you know them.

A third option might be the person that only seeks you out when they need emotional assistance or advice.  When things are going well for them they will not give you the time of day, but when they need support, they expect you to be on alert for their call 24 hours a day and make you feel guilty if you don’t reply to a text within 10 seconds of receiving it (ignoring the fact they may take 48 hours to reply to yours). I’m not sure how to categorize these individuals.

Now as a Christian trying to reflect God’s love, how do I react to and treat these individuals who act like my friend, but just want something from me.  Should friendship always be a two way street?

Please don’t get me wrong.  I love helping people and being needed.  I will take meals to those who are sick or moms with new little ones.  I enjoy helping to lighten the work load of those who have a huge task to undertake.  I like being a small cog in the machine to pull it off.

I guess what I am asking is how can I guard my heart from being hurt, when someone I have treated as a friend only treats me as an associate?  How can I stop the sorrow when I continually reach out in conversation to someone and they do answer me, but don’t ask about me or mine in follow up? Am I being selfish? Do I have the wrong idea of what friendship is?

Am I friends with someone because of what I do for them? Or am I friends with them because they like who I am?

Out with 8. In with 2

We have lived in our “new” house for five years now.  I’m finally getting curtains up in the master bedroom.  The living room has curtains, but they need to change because I don’t like them very much.  That’s another post for later.

When we moved in, the basement had eight different colors of paint on the walls.  No, I’m not exaggerating. Each wall is divided by a chair rail.  Each wall had a different color above and below the rail.  One wall is Pepto Bismal pink (actual pepto may have been more muted) and bright green- think of the mascara bottle colors. Wall number two was yellow and sky blue.  Number 3, aqua green and Barney purple. The final wall to round out the fun is Hokie orange and dark blue.

We have know from day one we were going to repaint, but the task was daunting.  We moved a LOT of stuff into the base and that would have to be moved.  Some of the piles hadn’t been touched in five years (sad, I know).  It is a good time to clean things out and refresh the space.  So last night, we dove in.

We knew primer would be necessary due to the bright, dark, and deep colors.  We started with the pink and green wall.  Furniture was moved. Old toys sorted out. Trim was taped with the blue tape. Drop clothes were dropped.  Primer cans were opened.  The work began.  Mike and I began with the trimming part of the paint and after we had completed a wall and a half, the boys began to roll.  The initial coat went well and we were making really good progress.  Then we hit the stairwell. Progress slowed to a crawl!

Do you realize how many nooks and corners are in a stairwell?  The sides of the steps - those little triangles- needed to be painted. The walls on both sides and part of the ceiling needed to be redone.  While I worked on trimming the stairs, the guys re-rolled the pink and green wall and touched up the yellow and blue wall (with the stairs).  At one point, there were three of us standing on the stairs painting with rollers and brushes.  I have the paint in my hair to prove it!

After four+ hours of painting, trimming and rolling, two walls are primed.  Now we need to  decide on a paint color and whether or not we want to paint one color above the chair rail and a different color below the rail on all four walls, so two colors - not eight. We knew this was going to be a big job and it has turned out to be bigger than expected.  The pink wall took three coats of primer to cover well, and we figure the Barney purple wall may require the same.  We will take it a step at a time and eventually it will be completed.

Hard work (not really)

So, I've been a stay at home mom for 16 years now.  I take in little sewing jobs and decorate the occasional birthday cake to help out my friends.  But I haven't had a "9 to 5" job in over 16 years.  Years ago my guys heard the announcer on the radio say something about a stay-at-home mom and he asked me what that meant.

" A stay at home mom doesn't go out to do her job.  She gets to stay at home to do her job of taking care of the house and her kids."

"Oh" came the small voice from the booster seat behind me in the car. "You're not a stay at home mom."

Puzzled I asked, "Why do you think that buddy?"

"You don't stay at home.  You shop!" We were on our way to Walmart for groceries and such after all.
I did set the record straight and we did have a chuckle that night as I told Mike my "non-stay -at -home" status.

Now that my guys are older and much more independent, I occassionally work behind the desk at our karate studio.  I answer phones, handle payments, greet students, and pretty much just sit behind the desk to make sure things run smoothly.

It is not a hard job.  I really love doing it.  It does change the schedule at home quite a bit!  while I am still at home to help my guys with school work in the mornings.  I leave to work the desk around 3:00.  I run a couple errands and get to work at 4:00 to have things ready for the first class at 4:30.  I spend the evening at ATA and get home around 9:00.

I don't get to greet Mike when he gets home from work and while the crockpot and instant pot come in handy, the guys are on their own for dinner. That big of a change in the schedule makes us all tired and ready for normal by the end of the week.  A week being the longest stretch I've been needed.

So how do you handle a major change in your schedule? Can you plan ahead for the entire week or handle it a day at a time?  I am a mix of the two.  Meals were planned each morning for the evening. Rides to activities were worked out a week in advance, but there is always some wiggle room in all plans.

Next time your schedule needs to be restructured, I hope everything works out as planned with a little fun thrown in on the side.

New Car

In 2009, we needed more room in our vehicle.  If we were going anywhere and taking friends with us, we didn't have any room.  The friend would have had to ride on the roof or in the storage area of our CR-V. So after much searching, we found a 2005 Honda Pilot with a cassette player.  The cassette player was absolutely necessary because the boys' traveling music was only on cassettes and was required for the long trips to visit family.

Matt was in Pre-School and MikeG was a first grader when the "new to us" Pilot joined the family.  Flash forward almost 10 years, our wonderful Pilot had traveled 240,219 miles.  The oil leaked a little. We had to top off the power steering fluid once a month or so.  Transmission fluid was also disappearing from where it belonged.  It was time for the old girl to retire.

So the search began again.  We knew the size we needed - that third row seat is important. A minivan was NOT an option. Newer technology was a big plus.  We narrowed down the field to another Pilot and a Toyota Highlander. Let the test drives begin.

After the first round, I liked the Pilot and my wonderful husband was leaning towards the Highlander.  The test drives for the two cars had been a about a week or so apart, so we decided to check them both out again on the same day - head to head so to speak.

Each car had pluses and minuses.  Pros and cons.  Good colors, bad colors, different bells and whistles. Different levels of technology.  Decisions, decisions, decisions!!

When all was said and done - the Highlander eked out the Pilot.  Either car would have been wonderful, but for us the Highlander was a better fit.  So after "the talk" with the dealer, and a day scheduled to pick up the car (we needed to have a towing package installed, which would take a couple days), the emptying of the Pilot had to take place.  Over nine years of stuff had accumulated in the pockets and crevices of the seats, cup holders and storage areas.  We filled one trash bag with junk and two baskets with junk that wasn't to be thrown away. There was another small basket of stuff that would find a place to live in the new car eventually.  Almost like cleaning out a house for moving, but on a smaller scale.

After two days of driving the Highlander, I feel spoiled.  The new car smell, the clean seats and scuff free dashboard - lovely!  I wonder how long it will last?

Life

Amazing how fast time flies by while we are busy with the routine of life.

My oldest child is rapidly becoming a man.  Pants bought in the spring are now too short.  The sweatshirt that was baggy in the early fall is now getting a little snug.  And what is that fuzzy stuff creeping across his upper lip?

My youngest child is no longer in the single digit age bracket. Far past it. Handy Manny and Blue (with her clues) have madeway to MineCraft and difficult Lego sets.  And when did he start asking questions about politics that I can't answer?

It seems like yesterday we signed up for beginner t-ball. Littlest guy in the unbrella stroller and big brother playing in dust on the field.  No matter where the ball was hit the whole team ran after it.  Blink and we are watching from our folding chairs as they play first and third bases for their respective teams, knowing when to hold the base and when to go after the ball.  Forget about the tee.  The kids pitch for themselves now.

Way back in the day, date nights were planned at least a month (if not two) in advance.  A babysitter would be called or grandparents would collect the boys, reservations would be made.  Instructions for care would be left and phone numbers were stuck to the fridge.

Today, date nights are still planned, but without the extra fanfare and stress.  Grandparents still collect the boys on the rare occasion, but for an in town dinner date, the boys stay at home armed with a pizza and movie.  They are usually showered and deep into the plot when we get home.

With school schedules, karate, baseball, church activities, chores and housework it is easy to miss the milestones that guide us.  That first lost tooth, and the second and the third. The first day of school, the first day your drop them off (not walking them inside), the first time riding the bus. That day at IdleWild when they don't want you to ride with them anymore quickly becomes trips to Kennywood and "We will meet you at The Racer!"

Now I hand the car keys to the boy who used to ride his little truck through the kitchen so he can get some driving practice in on the real car. And the boy who used to drool so much he doubled my laundry, is starting the washer and dryer on his own.

Yes, there are times I would like to hit the pause button so I can enjoy certain moments a little longer, but the stop button is out of the question.  My job as mom is to raise them to be independant, gentlemen who can take care of themselves (and, hopefully, their own families).  I am enjoying watching them become more independant and wanting to learn how to do different things on their own.  I like being teased about boys catching up to me in height (I'd be worried if they didn't). I am glad I'm not dealing with diapers, strollers, carriers, and hauling their stuff.  They carry their own stuff now and more times than not, carry mine too.

I will enjoy these next few years before they leave for college, watching them grow, mature, and make friends that will last a lifetime.  I get to be a part of that.  I will encourage them to enjoy the time with extended family - grandparents, aunts, cousins.  I have special memories with mine and I don't want them to miss out on what it means to be part of a group that will love you forever in spite of mistakes and disagreements.

Yes, we are busy living, but we are not missing the good parts.

Take a moment and enjoy your life.

Rainy Days

We have had so many lately. These rainy days that don't necessarily cool the temperatures down or take away any humidity have really added up this year.  The ground is soaked. Activities have been rescheduled and some even cancelled.

The sky is cloudy and the sun can't seem to get up to full power, yet still it is warm outside.

I am ready for some chilly fall weather.  You know the kind I mean.  A fire in the fireplace, a mug of hot tea or cocoa, a cozy sweatshirt or fluffy sweater, good book kind of weather. I'm beyond ready to look outside and see some sun shine.  I'm anxiously waiting for the leaves to put on their autumn colors and float gently to the ground to decorate the grass and pathways.

Hold off on the Christmas decorations until Thanksgiving is done and we have had a chance to revel in the buildup to the holidays that is autumn.

Rain, rain, go away.  Come again in the spring to awake the earth for the growing season.  Right now, I want to get out and dwell in the gorgeousness of fall.  So rain go away. Let autumn arrive.

Re-boot

Today in my world, things were hard. Things that normally I don't even think about getting done, took energy to even think about.  I didn't make it to the gym (again), that one load of laundry never got folded, and our simple dinner of chicken and rice almost didn't happen because I had to really look for the desire to cook it. 

My wonderful guys are very independant with their school work.  I did help them review for a quiz and proof-read some papers. Other than that, I don't feel like my day was a success. My Fitbit showed less than 5000 steps for the day. To be totally honest, I'm not sure how I spent my time today.  As I was getting ready for bed I realized part of the problem - I didn't care.  I had a crappy day and it didn't bother me nearly as much as it should have.  

Now, don't start panicking.  I will get out of bed in the morning and make sure everyone eats breakfast and is cared for.  I will find a way out of this "funk" I have fallen into. It has happened before and I made my way out.  I will do that again this time.

What I would like to know is: how did I get here in the first place? I don't like it here. It affects my family. If it goes on too long, it will affect my friends and my activities.  What caused this slide? Do I need to think about things more? Do I need to be in my head less?  More activities? Less activities? Better eating habits? (Always) More exercise? (Yep) 

There are people counting on me so I will get through this.

Dear Santa

Creative writing assignments can be so fun when you are homeschooling.  No subject is taboo or too political or too whimsical.

My youngest needed more writing time so I told him to write a letter to Santa. From the view point of an elf. Trapped in a stocking.

This is what I got:

                                                                                                               December 15, 2015

Dear Master Santa: HELP!!!

As I was checking out a fireplace, like you asked, I decided to check the possible volume that a stocking could hold while I waited for the pickup mini sled.  I accidentally fell in and got stuck.  As I was trying to get out I discovered traces of coal, I think we should do a background check on "Ryan".  Back to the point, I need help getting out of here.  Don't come in yourself. You still have ten more days and we need to be quiet, maybe you can send in the EERS (Elf Emergency Rescue Squad).  Don't send Lenny.  I still think he caused the "chocolate incident" last week.  If they're not up for it, send Twinkly, he may not help but at least I will have company down here.  Please come quickly.

Urgently signed: Tumbles

I miss reading.

I love books. I even enjoy e-books.  I read from my ipad, my nook, and from actual ink and paper.  This year I have not read as much as I have in the past.  I have been filling my time, unwisely, keeping up with the news on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.  I have often been the one "in the know" because of this.  My wonderful husband will ask me if I knew about some breaking news and I will give him details he had not heard yet becaue he was busy at work really working.  

Now here it is December and I looked back at my annual reading list. It was so much shorter than in years past.  I was dissappointed in myself.  There may have been one or two books I read that I forgot to add to the list, but overall, dissmal!  What had I read? What had I done instead?

Yes, I am a busy homeschooling mom.  Yes, I have lots of hobbies.  Yes, I have spent too much time in apps other than nook, kindle, and ibooks.  That is going to change.  My goal for the new year will be to blog more, read more, and be attached to a screen less.  Now excuse me while I go dust of my nook so I can recharge it.

Progressive Dinners

When I was in youth group, one of the activities we did was called a progressive dinner.  All of us teens would load into a fleet of cars and head to someone's house for the appetizer course of our meal.  Once we finished eating that person out of house and home, we would travel to the next course on the menu at another house.  It was so fun.  The same group seldom in the same car twice.  We would invade at least four homes for food for one meal.  The dessert house was the longest stop because games would follow the food.  These dinners would last at least two and a half hours with lots of laughter and fun.  The tradition continued in college for our church group there. Lots of good memories.

This year for Halloween the youngest M wanted to do something special, but not trick-or-treat.  My friend had taken her kids on a different kind of progressive dinner, so I stole the idea from her and we took the boys on a "Fast Food Progressive Dinner".

It starts with clues.  Each course of our meal has a clue the boys must figure out before we travel.

Stop number 1 is just for a drink. We are not getting chicken, like you would think. There's no burgrz here, just some thirsty cows. So we will grab our drinks before we get our chow.

 Drinks from Chick-Fil-A

Appetizers are next before we drop. We are headed to the place with the cool car hops.  We can order rings or sticks from our parked car. But don't think there will be hedgehogs where we are.

 Appetizers from Sonic

Our next stop is for some greens. Be thinking lettuce, not the beans.  A couple tomatoes with croutons, too. The place with the redhead is waiting for you.

  Salads from Wendy's

For our main course, we'll hang with the guys. We can eat burgers and enjoy fresh cut fries.  It's not much farther to this favorite stop. We'll get out of the car and into a chair we will flop.

 Yum!

Now to grab a bowl and fill it full. Toppings galore, and that's no bull. Sarah's favorite critter* is where we're bound, where lots of toppings can be found.

*Sarah is the boys' cousin who collects frogs.

Dessert

We had so much fun with this fun version of a meal on wheels.  We laughed and enjoyed un-interupted  family time in the car as we traveled from stop to stop.  I will keep this family activity in my back pocket and start planning new (and harder) clues for our next meal about town.  

We may even have to try this with some friends too!

Time Flies - Faster and Faster

It is amazing to me how much time has passed since my last post.  It seems like it was yesterday I was sorting through photos to find just the right ones to highlight my geocaching experience.

Now it is nearly the end of October!!! We haven't even purchased our pumpkins yet for the annual carving.  School is moving along in full swing.  Both boys are enjoying the new pathes we have chosen for them this year.

MikeG is thriving in the self-paced, independant world of  Liberty University Online Academy.  This is his 8th grade year and he has finally entered a project for a science fair.  Watching him work his way through the scientific process was a learning experience in itself.

Matt was forced to changed from our favorite curriculum because we had done every year they had written.  We do miss it.  Our new lessons are different, great, but different.  We are still figuring out the whole system but enjoying the information that includes catapults, knights, swords, and dragons.

Outside the house, our crew remains active.  All of us are still participating in tae kwon do.  The hubs is a 3rd degree black belt, soon to be joined by MikeG in January.  I am a 2nd degree black belt, soon to be joined by Matt in January.

The boys take piano lessons during the school year, leaving summer for many adventures - camping, biking, hiking, and of course, geocaching.  Baseball is still up in the air, if we will play this coming spring, but we will always support the Pirates by attending a few home games.

This is an exciting week at our church - Missions Week.  Dinner at the church Sunday - Wednesday, followed by a missionary giving his testamony about what is going on in his home away from home.  It is one of the favorite weeks of the year.  Kids have their own programming and the youth have some special time with the workers one night after the regular program is done. What a fun week of fellowship and missionary support!!

That is our fall fun at the moment.  It feels like each season flies by faster and faster.  Just as I was getting ready for summer to begin, winter is making its cool temperatures known.  Trees that were green yesterday, have dropped crimson, and golden yellow leaves today. Enjoy the moments as they happen, record them if you can, because the next thing you know, the year has started over again and new ideas and events are ready to happen.

Geocaching update

For those who know me, I realize I may have gone a bit crazy over my hobby of geocaching, but I won't admit that out loud. 

We have stopped after ballgames.

 

Made our more nimble family members climb trees.

We usually make the find.  In the past year and three months, with the help of my family and geocaching friends, I have logged 756 finds in 22 states.  

My friend, Angela, and I even made a trip in June to Maine to meet a friend of hers.  The 12 hour trip to the most northern state took four days.  We had no schedule for the entire week of the trip.  We stopped where we wanted and did so often to grab a cache or two (or four or six...). We logged 8 different states and 156 finds.  We found easy park and grabs (P&Gs) and hunted down an elusive multi-cache.

The scenery was beautiful and the trip was fantastic.

We even made a FTF (First to Find) in New York! Cachers race to be the first to find a new geocache.

We found several different containers on the trip that we had never seen before.

With all the fun we have had with this activity,

 Scouring the forests,

 Finding fossils,

 checking under bridges,

Discovering hidden memorials,

this hobby will last many, many more years!

All who wander are not lost, some are geocaching!