Confidence is Healthy

Day 8 - 31 Day Challenge
(To start reading the series from the beginning, click HERE)


I am a people watcher.  I love to sit in the food court of the mall and just observe.  I can also sit in a restaurant, a park, or convention center.  The people that walk by are stories.  Their posture, pace, even their tone and volume of conversation sparks chapters of tales in my mind.

I saw a frazzled mom pushing a stroller, talking on her cell phone.  The stroller was loaded with bags from her day: shopping bags, diaper bag, bags of fast food, a back pack for the small "big brother" who wander around his mom as she trucked along. Her phone side conversation sounded like a rapid fire interrogation. I hope the person on the other end had the answers she sought. If not, I was prepared to lead her to the nearest restroom and watch her children outside the door while she had a nice good cry.

I know just how she felt- totally, wholly, 100% overwhelmed. I have felt this way too.  I watched this mom with a shadow of panic on her face as she walked through a crowded vendor area on the second day of the Great Homeschool Convention in Greenville, SC.  Just the year before, my wonderful husband and I decided to pull our boys from public school and homeschool them.  I felt the way this woman looked and I didn't have any children in tow.  I knew I should be asking questions, but I didn't even know what questions I was supposed to be asking!  I didn't want to be the one to finally ask that "dumb" question that all teachers insist does not exist.  I had no confidence in myself to even ask for help in this overwhelming adventure I was going to begin.  So I used my "Phone-A-Sister" lifeline, repeatedly.  Both of my sisters had started this adventure years before and they knew me and my silly questions.  The helped me figure out what questions to ask and bolstered my confidence as I shopped the vendor hall that year.

During another episode of my people watching, this time at a local park, I watched a woman exercising.  I was walking, she was jogging.  We passed twice as she was headed in the opposite direction around the lake.  She didn't shuffle her steps, she was attacking the path.  She was not shy. Her head was up, eyes on the next goal.  She was not hunched over in pain and defeat.  Her back was straight, she was trained, and she had this! I could tell from her stride and posture, jogging was her stress relief.  If I tried to keep up with her I would be curled up in a ball along side the path within a quarter of a mile.

Even though I wasn't running, I know how she felt.  Confident, in charge, on top of the world.  A little while ago, I was asked to help instruct a karate class of adult low-rank students.  I was nervous, but knew I could easily assist my friend who would be teaching.  Unfortunately, we got our wire crossed and she thought she was assisting me! neither of us had a lesson planned.  So on the spur of the moment we came up with a plan that she would do the warm up exercises and I would do the rest.  Kicking drills - I stretched that one idea into a 30 minute lesson for those beginner students.  Ten minutes into the class, that feeling of confidence washed over me.  It's not an arrogant pride that says, "I'm better than you." It's a confidence that says, "Trust me, I know what I'm doing and I want to share  that knowledge with you."

That confident attitude, not arrogance or obnoxious pride, is healthy.  That self-assurance that you are comfortable with who you are is something guys appreciate. If I want to improve my relationship with my husband, I want to do things that he finds attractive. Being confident is one of those things. I'm not perfect and there are things I want to improve about myself, but I like who I am and who I am becoming.  I have confidence in my ability to homeschool my boys now. I, daily, draw strength from my relationship with my husband who supports and encourages me. I have faith in God who saved me and has a plan for me.  Am I challenged in these areas sometimes? Yes, but each challenge either helps me grow stronger in my confidence or teaches me something I may not have thought about before.

I am a woman who is strong and confident, are you?  Let's do this.